Pour-Out-Your-Soul

Finding myself in this unfamiliar place I strive to embrace; I want to feel- My mind deludes me with fear now. Jaded, wandering, gray matter; nerves shattering under every touch. Who am I kidding, this shell of a woman? Who would understand this deep wanting of attention and love but still an aversion to almost all of it... I suppose exploring it is the key. But, what if it breaks the lock of my heart?

Olive branch drops down to the ice-covered earth of our pitiable nations feet. It falls in suffering, not in reverence to anything, but in frail captivity, of a crushing fist. In another world, the sun scalds our brows as we lean forward to see what has become of those United States. In this other world where poverty rules over any kindness or love. Better to be frozen like that olive branch, than boiling in the heat of these politics.

At your funeral I cried with grief. The sadness of no more days spent in the grace of your company; of not feeling your warm embrace. At your funeral I wept with regrets The regrets of not having seen you one last time to say goodbye; of not knowing you more fully. By your ethereal side I wait until my time comes to walk beside you again. Knowing that the future will unite us, holds my broken heart together.

Graceless days filled with empty dreams. Unknown resolutions that are never seen. No belief that things can get any better. Things stay the same. Where's that light we all hear about, as we sit in darkness?

Her aura is a mixture of all the colored hues and all the muddled ones in between. She lives in the blue of an unchanging world that makes her sad but she presses on. She lives in the orange of the sun when it shines, making her glow. With the promise of yellow, she finds peace. When the storms pass the violet can blanket her in the peaceful confines of a world of her own. Her red can’t be avoided but its fire keeps her alive.

i didn't think that the artificial fireplace logs would turn out to be some kind of cruel metaphor but here i am, trying to ingest antifreeze to deal with the shivers you i send across raw clinging collarbones , d own clanking vertebrae screaming at me to let go or i'll melt into your chest like the snowflake that lost its 6th arm and you know that's not how it works and i do too. i                   turn around                    and realize that you            '       re not beside                    me, anymore

Her platinum lightning strikes as midnight rules the land. Once, a teenage dream, becomes a fractured mid-life heartbreak; The dress she never got to wear hangs in a thrift shop window. Midnight taffeta, slightly faded much like her used-up life is. Old copies of Cosmopolitan lay tattered and forgotten in her mind. The memories fade like the dress and the storm rages quietly. Searing feelings erupt like a waking volcano’s rage, waiting for the right time to spill.

Now, as I stare out on these desolate streets I see the ghost of a father I have yet to meet. From a very young age, it’s been me and my mom. No man to come home to, no dad of my own. I know mom did her best but she needed some help; I deserved a father figure, now I’m out here- not grown. The streets call my name, to hustle, fight and act out. Just like my mom always worried so much about. Now I’m fourteen and some say, out of control. Lost in this world with no father to hold me. Can I survive these streets living unscathed and free? Instead of in a cage with other boys like me?

Not meant to be the destination then what am I even here for? Is there something more to have my heart set on? Is something worth this fight? Knowing and believing are   not the same at all. Fantasies made of traveling along the beam of the subconscious. Reaching the other side is not always wanted or expected.